Labour Pains
by Sadieclay
Summary: Final chapters and alternate endings posted
1. Default Chapter

ERik Fic: Playing Footsies   
Dave sighed, his feet propped up on the desk and the clipboard on his knees, looking over his final chart of the day when somebody tapped him on the shoulder. He yelped, jumping up and tumbling over backwards onto the hard concrete floor. "What in the hell did you do that for!?" Muttered Dave irritably as the chart which had perched precariously on the desk, slipped off and thumped him on the head. 

Mark Greene grinned, this was getting better than he thought. "Are you okay Dave?" 

"Yeah.." Dave stood, brushing himself off, rubbing his head and sticking the chart in the rack. "I'm fine. What did you want, Dr.Greene?" 

"I know this will sound weird Malucci.. But I REALLY need you to do me a favour..." 

Slowly Mark outlaid his plans, he was called away to his aunt's place who was in poor health. It was short notice, and certainly, Malucci was his last and final hope. Nobody else could do it. Malucci was the bottom of the barrel. "I wouldn't ask otherwise." 

Dave sighed. "She hates me, Dr.G... She'll never let me in the car. How am I supposed to take her anywhere??" 

"I'll talk to her. It'll be fine. She knows everyone else is busy on Thursday nights." Mark sighed and wondered what could be so important on Thursday nights. 

"NIGHTS? I have to do this more than once!?" Dave groaned. Once was bad enough, but more than once? That was cruel and unusual punishment. 

"Malucci. Do you value your job?" Mark replied in a deadly tone. 

"Hey!!! You can't do that!" Dave whined. "I'll go to Romano.." 

Mark laughed. "You don't think I cleared this with the pompous toad?? You're so close to being fired, there's flames up your ass.. If he heard you weren't willing to help his 'Lizzie.' God knows what he could do.." 

Dave swallowed nervously. "Okay.. You got me.. I'll do it.. But the only heavy breathing I'll be doing will be afterwards in bed with my girlfriend.. Got it?" 

Mark rolled his eyes. "You're disgusting Malucci."   
  



	2. Labour Pains 2

ERik Fic: Labour Pains:Part 2   
"No Mark.. Absolutely not! I'm not letting that filthy heathen within five feet of me!" Elizabeth crossed her arms and glared at Mark. 

"But Eliz-" Mark protested, wrapping his arms around her. 

"No. Absolutely not. Malucci can't even take care of himself. You want him escorting your wife to Lamaze classes?? I'd rather go myself. Or Peter can take me." 

Mark bristled. "No.. Not Benton. He's busy. As is everyone else. I told you. Malucci would the last one I'd ask, and he was. Nobody else can do it." 

"How sick is this aunt of yours anyway?? The baby's due in a month. I don't want you to miss it. And Lamaze classes.. They're coming up to the crucial stages now and you won't be there.." Elizabeth leaned into him and gave her aching back a rest. 

"She's sick.. Very sick. Dying, Elizabeth.. She's my last living relative.. At least of those I still talk to.. Please. You'll be okay." Mark leaned in and kissed the top of her head. 

*** 

Dave pulled up to the house, leaning the bike against the side and putting the kickstand down. Mark had been gone for a few days now, and he'd told Malucci to keep himself scarce until Thursday, as Elizabeth was still touchy about the fact that Malucci was the one escorting her to lamaze. 

Carefully, he banged on the door. "Hey!! Dr.Corday!?" Dave paused, bringing his hands to his sides and sighing, before banging on the door again with his fist. "Hey-" 

The door swung open to reveal a very irritable, very pregnant British surgeon. "Malucci.." She said scathingly. "We do have a *doorbell*"   
Blood covered her apron and hands, her eyes narrowed. 

Dave swallowed nervously, eyeing the very large carving knife she had clenched in her fist. "I was making dinner.. Do come on in." Elizabeth said sourly. 

"Th-thanks.." He stuck his head in the door looking around and testing the waters, before walking in and wiping his feet on the welcome mat. 

"What's for supper?" Dave asked curiously as he watched Elizabeth waddle to the kitchen, the knife swinging in her grasp like a deadly pendulum. 

"Duck.." Replied Elizabeth menacingly as she brought the cleaver down hard on the chopping board, the bird splitting in two and falling in halves on the counter. 

Dave jumped, startled, and licked his lips nervously. "Uhh. huh.. Okay.. Well this lamaze thing.. It's at eight right??" 

Elizabeth nodded, as she wrenched the legs off the duck and started to skin the bird. "Yes. Eight o'clock. Why are you here at six, disrupting my supper, Malucci?" 

"Why.. Why do you have blood all over your apron?" He asked nervously. 

"I was killing nosey annoying residents. Here.." Elizabeth handed him a knife. "Chop the vegetables." 

"Okay.." Dave wasn't going to say no. She had a bigger knife than he did and raging hormones. He learned that the hard way last week after delivering a baby in the ER and the woman wanted an epidural. Dave had tried to explain that it was too late. The woman, pulled her legs out of the stirrups. She brought her knees together sharply and pinned his head between her legs, threatening to pop his head like a zit if she didn't get drugs. It had taken three nurses, and two residents to get his head free. Dave smiled at the memory. If it had been Cindy pinning his head between her legs, he wouldn't have minded, but that had been an extremely angry pregnant woman with a baby crowning, inches from his nose. Dave shuddered. 

"Chop the carrots, Malucci!" Elizabeth barked, startling Dave out of his daydream. 

"Yes, M'am.." Muttered Dave. 

** 

The dinner had been quite good, the carrots crisp but tender, the duck juicy and flavourful. Dave reminded himself to ask Elizabeth if she'd mind giving Cindy a few tips. He was sick of eating burnt Hamburger Helper. 

"So.." said Elizabeth as she scraped her plate into the disposal and put it in the dishwasher. "You coming?" 

Dave nodded, wiping his face, and clearing the table. "I'm coming. That was good, Dr.Corday. Thanks." 

"No problem Dr.Malucci. Get your coat. We're going to be late." Elizabeth waddled to the door and struggled with her coat. 

Sighing, Dave put the last of the dishes in the sink and walked over, helping her into the circus tent, disguised as a maternity jacket. 

"I'm driving, I take it?" Dave said, plucking the keys off the hook by the door. 

"Well unless I can drive laying down, I'd say that's a safe bet, David." Grumbled Elizabeth. 

"Okay then.. Let's go." Dave grinned and jingled the keys.   
  



	3. Labour Pains 3

ERik Fic: Labour Pains   
"Breathe in.. Out your nose.. That's it.. Coaches.. Help your partners breathe. That's it.." 

The lights flickered and the ex-yoga instructor swore loudly as she looked out at the darkening clouds. "Okay.. that's it folks. Same time next week. We're cutting this session short. I want all the Mommies home safe. Out now.." She waved her hands and grinned dopily. "Now shoo!" 

Dave and Elizabeth scurried from the school gymnasium, Dave holding his coat over Elizabeth's wide girth. "Come on woman.. I've gotta get home before this gets worse." 

"WOMAN?!" Elizabeth elbowed him hard in the gut and Dave stumbled backward. 

"Ooof! Dr.Corday!" 

She hoofed it to the car and locked him out, leaving the sopping wet resident banging on the windows. "Come on Dr.Corday.. Please??!" 

Elizabeth glared at him for a few minutes before grabbing a newspaper from under her seat and laying in the driver's side. Slowly she rolled down the window. "You promise to behave?" 

Dave nodded sullenly. "Yuh-huh.. Lemme in PLEASE?!" 

Finally she relented and unlocked the door.   
"Sit there.. Don't mess my upholstery Dave." Elizabeth grumbled. 

They drove home in silence, the only noise was the steady dripping of Dave onto the floor mats. 

Finally Dave pulled into the driveway and parked in the garage. "Well thanks for dinner, Dr.Corday. I better get going." He hopped out of the car and started wheeling his bike down the driveway. 

"Where in the hell do you think you're going, Malucci?" Elizabeth said tiredly. 

"Home.." Muttered Dave, hopping on his bike, Elizabeth marvelling how wonderfully wet and tight his jeans seemed. 

"Not in a storm like this you're not.. Come inside. Sleep in the guest room." She waved her hand inside, and Dave rode his bike into the garage and parked it. 

"What ever you say.." Dave shrugged.   


Once inside, Elizabeth stuck him on the welcome mat. "Don't move. I'm getting you a change of clothes.." 

Carefully, Elizabeth scaled the stairs when the lights went out. "DAVE!" 

He sighed heavily. "Where's your damn fuse box??" 

"DOWNSTAIRS IN THE BASEMENT.. TAKE THE TORCH. IT'S IN THE HALL CLOSET BESIDE YOU." 

Dave swore as he scrambled around in the closet and picked up the grossly oversized flashlight and headed down the basement stairs. 

He sighed again. Changing a fuse. It couldn't be that hard could it?   
Dave pulled the out little glass fuses and un-screwed the burnt one and grabbed one from the package. 

Seconds later, Dave realized his mistake as a jolt of electricity went through him. Laying stunned on the floor, Dave passed out. 

** 

"Dave? Dave!? Are you okay??" Elizabeth ran a cool hand over his brow, brushing the hair from his eyes. "Dave?" 

He was still sopping wet and Elizabeth groaned as she realized that she too, was soaked as she cradled Dave's unconcious body in her arms. What they needed was some heat.. But the heat was run on electricity, which Dave blew out because he put the wrong fuse in, while being wetter than a week in Scotland. 

Carefully she lay Dave on the floor, with her housecoat, folded under his head, while she went to fix the fuse box. Wiping her hands on her nightgown, Elizabeth screwed in the bulb and was knocked backward by a jolt of electricity. 

************ 

"Dave/Elizabeth?" The two doctors lay stunned on the floor, rubbing their heads and moaning softly. Elizabeth slowly rocked up onto her heels, the easiest she had in months, walking slowly up to the kitchen and picked up her cellphone off the table. 

"H-hi? I.. I need an ambulance.. There's been an accident. Yeah.. 145 Evergreen Terrace.. Yeah.. I was trying to fix the fuse box and I.. Electrical burns.. LOCs of about-" Elizabeth glanced at her watch. Slowly her jaw dropped as she rotated her arm, looking at her palms and back at her wrist, where Dave's watch was, and Dave's fore-arm and Dave's-... 

Elizabeth walked to the bathroom, the cell still in her hands and held to her ear. She looked at mirror and yelled at the top of her lungs in fright. 

"SIR!? Sir? Are you okay??" The 911 operator asked worriedly. 

"Yeah.. Uh huh.. I'm uhh fine.. Uhh huh.. Jus' great.." Slurred Elizabeth, huskily. "There was LOCs of about... 20 minutes, I guess." 

"You're a doctor sir?" 

Elizabeth sighed, swallowed and ran his tongue over his lips. "Yes. Dr.Dave Malucci."   
  



	4. Labour Pains 4

ERik Fic: Labour Pains   
Dave moaned softly. His back ached, his head ached, his feet felt like ripe swollen summer squash, and it felt like he'd gained twenty pounds. As he grunted in pain, he felt somebody nearby. "Elizabeth?" He muttered softly, realizing his voice sounded oddly feminine and accented. 

"Yes.. I'm here. In a way..." Dave heard a voice that sounded quite familiar. A brother? What would his brother be doing here in Elizabeth's basement. 

"Danny?" Dave murmured, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus on the person standing over him. 

"No.. Dave.. It's me.. Elizabeth.." 

Dave's eyes widened as he stared at himself looking very concerned, and he backpedaled as quick as a pregnant woman could. "HOLY SHIT! YOU! ME?! WHAT?!" His voice was shrill and frantic. 

"Dave.. Calm down.. It's okay.. Well.. No.. It's not okay.. but.. You.. We.. We have to calm down.. The paramedics will be here soon.. I didn't want to move you.. You broke my fusebox.. We both got hit pretty bad.. But lay still, I want to make sure the baby's okay." 

They heard Zadro and Shep hotfooting it down the stairs and Elizabeth sighed. "Act like me.. Don't say anything stupid." 

"Act like you!? What about you?! I don't stand like that!" What's with the hand on the hip!? You want them to think I'm suddenly some sort of fag? Slouch a little.. Stick your hands in your pockets.." 

** 

Zadro and Shep heard the two doctors, bickering quietly and chuckled. "Lover's quarrel?" Shep snickered. 

"Shut up.. He was taking Corday to Lamaze classes.. Mark's out of town.." 

"Exactly." 

"Cut that out.." 

"WHAT?!" 

*** 

"Okay Dave.. Back off a little, give the woman some air." Dave smiled smugly as he watched Elizabeth scowl. She really didn't like people calling her 'woman.' 

"It's okay Dave.. Let them do their job." Dave said sweetly, patting Elizabeth's hand histronically. 

"Grrrrr.." Elizabeth glared at Dave and sat over on the stoop, letting Pickman dress the wounds on her hands. 

"Ohhh Shep... Please.. Save me and my baby.. I really want to be homeÊ in time to watch Coronation Street and eat my tea and crumpets!" Dave wailed. 

"I HEARD THAT!" Yelled Elizabeth, as she leaped up off the stoop and lunged towards Dave. 

"Stop it you two.. If you'll behave, Dave I won't strap you to a board.. You seem okay except for the burns to your hands. Elizabeth on the other hand. I don't want to risk the baby. Shep help me roll her. 1-2-3..." Doris muttered irritably. 

Elizabeth grinned as Dave was strapped firmly to the backboard. Sucker.. 

"Think you can make it up the stairs on your own Dave?" Zadro asked concernedly. Elizabeth inspected Dave's nails. This man really was a pig. 

"Dave.. Yo Dave!?" The paramedic waved a hand in front of Elizabeth's face and checked her eyes with a pen light. "I'm gonna radio in for a CT when we get you in there.." 

Elizabeth startled slightly, and looked up from Dave's grubby fingernails.Ê "No.. Uh.. I'm fine, man. Just thinking." Elizabeth laughed inwardly. Dave? Thinking? That was a new one. 

Elizabeth rode in the back of the ambulance, beside Dave who was grumbling softly under his breath. "What's wrong Elizabeth?" Elizabeth said sweetly. 

"The stupid baby is sitting on my/your kidneys and-I..I.. OH GOD! JESUS CHRIST!" Dave's back arched and he screamed. 

Elizabeth bit her lip. Why now?? Why?! "I think Elizabeth's having contractions, Shep.. You might wanna hurry up a bit." 

"I'm hurrying Malucci! Mind your own damn business!" 

Elizabeth nearly shouted back at him. "It IS my damn business! That's me having contractions!! That's MY baby!!!!!!" But she caught herself before she said anything stupid. She was Malucci now, and she knew that they were doing all they could. 

"Stop pushing, Dr.Corday.." Pickman, said soothingly. "Don't push yet." 

"Yeah, Dr.Corday.. Use the Lamaze classes.. Breathe through the pain.." Elizabeth said crouching beside the gurney. 

"LAMAZE CLASSES!?" Yelped Dave. "I was only at half of one damn lamaze class, how in the hell am I suppose to know how to 'breathe' through the damn pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH!!!!" 

Doris cocked a brow and looked at Elizabeth. "I thought she was going every Thursday night with Mark?!" 

Elizabeth glared at Dave. "Oh I think they were.. Elizabeth just has to remember how to breathe.. Come on Elizabeth.. Like this.. Remember?? In through the nose, out through the mouth.. In.. Out.." 

Dave glared at her, breathing heavily. "Shut up Dave.. AUGH!!!" 

"The contractions are getting closer together." Elizabeth glanced at Dave's watch. 

"Should we give her a couple CCs of magnesium sulfate??" 

"No.. Don't stop the contractions. Have a baby warmer and a paediatric crash cart waiting in the ER though. Just in case." Elizabeth, said struggling to keep her voice from shaking. It was just in case. The baby would be fine. Her body it'd be fine.. But if Dave died.. If her body died.. She'd be.. She'd be Dave forever.. Elizabeth shuddered.   
  



	5. Labour Pains 5

ERik Fic: Labour Pains   
"Elizabeth?? Elizabeth?? Everything seems to be fine.. The baby doesn't look like it was harmed. We have you on a fetal monitor, just in case." Kerry Weaver said worriedly as Dave started to come around. 

"Huh? Wha?  Chief? What happened?" Dave muttered, trying to move amidst the wires and IV lines. His eyes widened as he glanced at the hospital bracelet on his arm. "Dr.Elizabeth Corday." It hadn't been a dream after all. He winced as another contraction rippled through Elizabeth's body. 

"Elizabeth?? Did you just call me Chief?" Weaver sighed and looked up as her favourite resident walked in the trauma doors. 

He did look a little worse for wear, but he'd finally gotten himself  cleaned up and out of those wet clothes. She winced as she noticed the bandages on his hands. "I guess you won't be doing traumas for awhile, Malucci." Weaver said with a bitter-sweet smile. 

Elizabeth smiled. "I guess not K-.. Chief.. Is Dr.Corday alright?" 

Weaver nodded as Dave started to scream again and bare down. 

"AUGH!!!!!!!" 

Babcock, the anethesiologist that Carol had given the name 'epidural man', entered the room. He smiled and walked to the gurney, raising it slightly and putting Dave into a semi-seated position. "I think it's time for the epidural.. Sit forward a bit, Elizabeth.. This might sting a bit." Dave leaned forward and winced as he was numbed from the waist down. 

"Good news and bad news.. The catheter's in.. But that means.. We have to insert a foley.." Weaver smiled and Dave shuddered at the thought. 

"Abby.. Insert the foley!" Barked Weaver. 

Abby Lockhart, OB nurse, turned med student, turned ER nurse/medstudent, rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "Yes boss. Of course." 

"AUGH!" Dave screamed again. 

"Okay.. Elizabeth.. Start to push.. Breathe through the pain.." Elizabeth said, taking Dave's hand in hers. 

Dave glared at Elizabeth, who looked at him smugly. "I'm going to get you for this.." He grumbled under his breath. 

"PUSH!! That's it.. Come on Elizabeth.. You can do it." Weaver said comfortingly, 

*** 

Four hours of cursing and screaming later, Dave lay exhausted on the gurney with the baby in his arms. Elizabeth looked at him enviously. "Can.. Can I hold him?" She asked pleadingly, holding out her arms. 

Dave smirked and held the baby closer to him. "No.. He's mine.." He said as he stroked the newborn's mottled cheek. "What would you think if I called him Dave, after my favourite Lamaze partner?" He grinned as he saw Elizabeth's expression. Maybe being Elizabeth wouldn't be all bad. 

    
"You wouldn't dare..." Elizabeth said hoarsely. Her blood running cold. 

"Try me.. It's my baby.. I can name him Dweezil Moon Unit if I want and you can't do anything!" Dave smirked, watching Elizabeth pace the room. 

Janet Coburn smiled and rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't really name him Dweezil would you, Elizabeth? I think the baby names can wait for now. I want to transfer you upstairs to OB.. A nice quiet room. I've contacted Mark. He should be here in a few hours, his cousin is taking care of his Aunt.. He told Mark that everything would be fine, to look after you." 

She smiled comfortingly and helped the other doctors transfer Elizabeth onto another gurney. 

Mark? Mark was going to be here?? Mark who thought Elizabeth was Elizabeth and Dave was Dave?? Dave shuddered and moaned. This wasn't good.. This wasn't good at all.. 

Upstairs in OB, Elizabeth still pestered Dave in the private room. "Come on.. Please.. Dave.. He's really mine.. Please let me hold him.. Plea-"   
  

"ELIZABETH!!!! God! Are you okay!? I.. I heard and I came as soon as I could!" Mark stumbled into the room, glancing at Elizabeth and over at Dave in the bed. Dave Dweezil Moon Unit Greene lay in a small cot nearby, his little face scrunched and purple as he started to wail, flailing his arms and recoiling in fright. 

"You idiot! You scared little Dweezil!" Dave cried out, scooping the baby into his arms. 

Mark cocked a brow. "Elizabeth?? Did you just call me an idiot? Wait! Dweezil?? I thought we were going to name him Andrew?!" 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, situating herself beside the door and watching Dave dig himself into a deeper hole. 

"No.. I.. Of course his name's Andrew.. That's what we decided right?!" Stammered Dave. 

Mark sighed and held his wife's hand. "It's okay Elizabeth.. Don't get yourself worked up. I don't care about the names. I care about you. That's all I care about.." Mark's large creepy lips loomed over Dave and he stifled a yell. 

Dave winced as Mark planted a kiss on his lips, forcing his tongue in his mouth and moaning slightly. Dave was certain he could hear Elizabeth snickering in the background. It wasn't till Mark decided to get frisky and slip a hand up Dave's hospital gown that Dave clocked him with the bedpan. 

"OW!" Mark stumbled backward, rubbing the fuzz on his head and the large purple bump that was forming. "ELIZABETH! What in the hell did you do that for!?" 

Dave glared at Mark and back at Elizabeth who was biting the inside of her cheek trying not to fall onto the floor in hysterics. "Y-You! Groping and man-handling your wife after she's given birth to your son! You're a PIG!" 

Elizabeth's eyes widened and she burst out laughing. 

Mark and Dave glared at her. "MALUCCI! OUT!" 

Elizabeth turned, quietly snickering to herself. Dave was having his fun. It was time to track down this Cindy that Dave talked so much about.   
  


	6. Labour Pains 6

ERik Fic: Labour Pains   
"Hey.. Mark... Are you okay?" Dave scooted sideways to the edge of the bed, with little Double-D Greene still in his arms. "Here... You can hold Dave.. I'm sorry for hitting you.." 

Mark cocked a brow and look at the baby wriggling in his wife's arms. "Dave? You named him Dave after one Lamaze class with that jerk?? I thought you named him Dweezil." 

Jerk?! Dave held back the urge to smash the water jug over his Mark's gleaming dome, and shrugged. "I was never much of a Zappa fan.. Were you??" 

Mark laughed slightly and shook his head. "No.. Not really.. Do you really want to name him Dave?" 

Dave sighed. "No.. I guess not... Andy's a neat name.. I guess he looks like an Andy." He picked up the baby and held him out in front of him slightly. "Actually.. He looks more like a Dilbert.. Dilbert Greene.." 

Mark scowled, he was NOT naming his son Dilbert. 

Dave squirmed in bed. "Can I go home now?? I.. I don't want to be here, D-.. Mark. Can we go home now?" 

"Home? Elizabeth... You just gave birth.. It'd be best if you stayed overnight at least. Just to make sure you and.." Mark paused. "What are we naming him now?" 

"Ludwig.." Dave replied stoicly. 

"Riiiiiiight.. Ludwig.. Just to make sure you and Ludwig are okay." 

"So we leave Aenescumb in the nursery. That's all.. I really want to go home Mark.. Please?" Dave whined pitifully. 

Mark groaned. "Elizabeth.. I'm not naming my son Aenescumb.. You know how he'll much he'll get beat up in the school yard?" 

Dave's lip quivered and false tears rolled down his cheeks. "You're okay with Ludwig, but you have something against Aenescumb??" 

"Well.. No... I mean.. If you want to name him Aenescumb.." Mark stammered. Damn.. What had he done!? 

"Actually no.. I think we should call him Jesus. Or Moses.. What do you think of Moses??" Dave pouted. 

"Moses Greene? Are you sure?? Elizabeth.. Maybe it's best we talk about this later." Mark sighed heavily. 

"What about Aethelbeorht... Or Ardwolf?" Dave said wounded, trying not to laugh. 

"ARDWOLF!? Elizabeth?? Are you N-" Mark broke off and took a deep breath.. "Have you been reading that old English baby names book again?" 

"N-no..." Dave lip his lip and looked away, he really was on the verge of laughing. Truth was, he had.. Elizabeth had shed her scary apron and meat cleaver and went upstairs to change before lamaze, leaving Dave to wander the downstairs. He found the book under the table leg in the den, fixing a very bad wobble. Dave had laughed out-loud. It looked very possible that Mark had tried to fix the table and gave up, sticking Elizabeth's book under the leg. Duct tape.. A man's best friend.. At least a man who didn't know anything about fixing something that required a hammer and nails. 

"Elizabeth..." Mark stared at Dave exasperated. He would *NOT* name his son Ardwolf Wolfgang Greene..   


**The following section would be considered R-rated for sexual scenes.. You have been warned. But for those who are sick enough to see Elizabeth in Dave's body doing it with Dave's girlfriend. Continue on my friends!**

*** 

It had gotten quite dark and she looked at the watch that wasn't hers, that was strapped to a wrist that definitely wasn't hers and looked up into the dark night sky. It was 11 o'clock at night and this was a pretty rough neighbourhood, hopefully Elizabeth could find his place before the nuts and thugs came out to play. 

Elizabeth shoved the olive coloured hand into the pockets of Dave's scrub pants, the fingers wrapped around his wallet which contained his driver's licence and address. 

She wandered up the sidewalk, Dave's battered sneakers tromping through puddles and filling with water. Elizabeth swore at his shoddy footwear and glanced up to find a cute blonde in tight red leather pants barrelling toward her and leaping into her arms. 

The woman wrapped her arms around Elizabeth's neck and her legs wrapped around her waist. "Dave! I phoned the hospital and they said you were in an accident!!!" 

Elizabeth stumbled slightly and managed to show the bandages on her hands. 

The woman, who Elizabeth now had ascertained was Cindy, gasped. "God! What happened to your hands!" 

Elizabeth was thoroughly sick of standing in a puddle and walked to the apartment building with Cindy wrapped around her like a whitetrash vine on a pole. 

"Mal- I mean. I was fixing the fuse box at Dr.Corday's.." 

Cindy's astonishment was shortlived as she started kissing her boyfriend's neck and moved to his lips, sticking her tongue down his throat. "Ooohhh Dave... Mmmm.. I missed you.." She moaned as Elizabeth stood at the foot of the apartment steps too stunned to move. 

Finally she loosened Cindy's embrace and looked the woman over. Tight, red leather pants glided over her round hips, wrapping themselves around her small waist. An equally tight, cropped, black t-shirt, finished off the look and showed off Cindy's flat stomach and belly ring. 

Cindy snapped her gum loudly and ran a manicured hand through her long, bleached hair. "Come on Dave... Come upstairs.. We can watch the hockey game.. Toronto's playing Ottawa... I think Toronto's kicking a little Senator ass.." She grinned and goosed Elizabeth. "Speaking of ass.. Come on.. I want to get me some." 

Cindy giggled, taking Elizabeth by the hand and nearly dragging her up the flights of stairs. "Come ON!" 

She raced into the bedroom leaving Elizabeth standing in the livingroom and looking around the apartment. It wasn't a bad flat considering the poor neighbourhood it was in. As Elizabeth finally started to relax, a large rat scurried across the floor and behind a loose baseboard. 

Elizabeth yelled in fright causing Cindy to stumble from the bedroom half undressed with handfuls of sex toys. "What!? Look.. I'm sorry if I touched any of your damn CDs.. Danny was by earlier and borrowed a couple. I didn't think you'd mind. Slowly Cindy followed Elizabeth's gaze to the baseboard and she sighed heavily. 

"Honestly Dave.. You are such a GIRL!! Shit even I'm not afraid of mice.. I don't know how your brother ever put up with you!" She rolled her eyes and gave Elizabeth a playful swat on the arm. 

"Now come ON!!!" Cindy dragged Elizabeth into the bedroom and threw her backwards onto the bed with a soft thump, before she knew it handcuffs were slipped around Dave's wrists and she was shackled to the bed. 

Cindy grinned. "Now then...." She crawled on her belly towards Elizabeth, tugging at the scrub pants and pulling them to Elizabeth's knees. Cindy growled, grabbing them in her teeth and tugging on them till they fell loose onto the bed. 

"Dave... Come on..." Cindy pushed up the scrub top to reveal 'Dave's' warm fleshy abdomen and she kissed it, slowly running her tongue upwards. Elizabeth shivered slightly and willed herself not to pay attention not to get aroused.. 

"Mmmm Dave.." Cindy pulled the condom over 'Dave's slowly erecting penis.. "That's it.." She murmured as she put her mouth over the rolled condom. 

Elizabeth moaned and heat rose in her cheeks as the rising warmth filled her body. She could feel Cindy slip 'Dave's' penis inside her, and Cindy grabbed the headboard as she rocked foreward, moans only interrupted by orgasmic screams. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh DAVE!!!" 

Cindy's fingers ran tender trails of tingling warmth down Elizabeth's new skin as Cindy latched onto 'Dave's' neck and started sucking.. Elizabeth grunted partly in pain and partly in delight as Cindy worked on a rather large hickey as Elizabeth continued to thrust and Cindy continued to ride Dave's body like a perverted mechanical pony at the supermarket. 

Elizabeth thrust her head back with another orgasm and wondered suddenly, what would Dave think when he finally got back into his own body and found the HUGEST hickey known to man-kind?   
  



	7. Labour Pains 7

labour7.html   


"Go fish.. Do you have any 8s Mark?" Dave looked up from his cards and sighed slightly. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned to spend his night. In fact, Cindy had said she had a surprise for him.. Now he was missing it and playing cards with Kojak's ugly twin. 

"Nope.. I have this though.." Mark leaned in and gave Dave a kiss. 

Dave pulled away startled. The man had lips like a dead fish. Cold, clammy and wet. "Mark.." He pretended to blush. "Not here.. Do you have any 6s?" 

Mark grinned. "Hey! You're cheating.. Go fish!" 

Dave sighed again. This DEFINITELY wasn't how he wanted to spend his night. 

** 

Cindy had finally un-cuffed her boyfriend, leaving his firm body, slick with sweat, heaving as Elizabeth tried to catch her breath. "Was that fun?" She grinned at Elizabeth and kissed Dave's lips, hard at first then easing off into a sensuous long romantic kiss. 

She nodded slowly as Cindy rolled onto her back. Elizabeth grinned. It had been scary at first.. She'd been worried. Worried that Cindy would know that this wasn't *her* Dave. That Mark and Dave would suddenly walk into the bedroom and blow the whole thing. She kissed Cindy's firm but perky breasts, running a moistened finger around the sensitive part of the nipple, making Cindy gasp slightly. 

As Elizabeth attacked Cindy's neck with the same voracious appetite that Cindy had to 'Dave's' neck earlier, Cindy rubbed her hands over her boyfriend's firm lower abdomen, and firm erection, guiding it inside her once more. 

** 

Mark snored loudly on the chair beside the hospital bed. There had been much argument over the name of Baby Greene but, Mark had finally relented. The nurses had taken Elmo Tarragon Green to the nursery to let the new parents get some rest. 

** 

Cindy fell asleep in her boyfriend's arms. Elizabeth lay awake staring at the ceiling, trying to comprehend what she'd just done. Was it still cheating on Mark considering that she hadn't really been a willing participant? At least not at first. She had gotten aroused. She had participated. She hadn't said no. She had kissed, stroked, fondled and licked as much as Cindy had... and she enjoyed it. 

Elizabeth had *REALLY* enjoyed it and in the matter of hours she had destroyed her marriage, and her professional relationship with Dave.   


*** 

The following morning, Dave sang at the top of his lungs and turned up the volume on the radio as Mark drove down the street to the house. "20-20-24 hours to go... I wanna be sedated.. I wanna be SEDATED!!" The song ended and up came the annoying canned laughter of the DJ. "Folks.. That's the end of our memorial tribute marathon to Joey Ramone.. I hope you enjoyed it." The music changed to a heavy Rave-like beat and Dave closed his eyes, swaying in the music. 

Elizabeth's long red curls bounced and flew in Mark's field of vision as he started to careen down the road. "I never knew you to be a fan of..." Mark furrowed his brow. "What IS this?!" 

Dave continued to headbang, swaying slightly to the music. "Electronica, Mark.. It's quite relaxing.. The band is called Lemon Jelly.. Just listen to the beat... You'll get the hang of it.." 

"Could you stop head banging? Please Elizabeth?" As soon as the words were past Mark's lips, the song ended and Dave grinned. 

Cypress Hill's 'Rock Superstar' started up slow, enough for Mark to relax again the calming string orchestra and xylophone. Dave smiled from ear to ear, looking at Elmo sleeping in the back seat. 

"So you wanna be a rock superstar, and live large, a big house, 5 cars, you're in charge comin' up in the world, don't trust no body gotta look over your shoulder constan-" Dave had started to sing the chorus when Mark leaned over and shut off the radio. 

"Stop it Elizabeth, can't you see you're upsetting the baby?!" Mark glared at his wife and returned his eyes to the road as Dave grumbled and turned it back on, switching the station. 

"The baby's asleep Mark.. and has been since we left the hospital, leave Zephir alone.." He muttered irritably. No wonder Elizabeth was such a bitch if she had to put up with this drip. 

"Come on baby tell me.. Yes we aim to please.. Come on baby tell me.. Yes we aim to please. Come on, come on.. Come on baby tell me. Yes we aim to please.. Oh yeah.." Dave muttered quietly to himself. 

Mark leaned over and turned off the radio again, pulling to the curb. "ZEPHIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????? Dammit Elizabeth. His name is Andrew. We decided on this. MONTHS ago.." 

Dave crossed his arms and shook his head, tossing Elizabeth's curls from side to side. "Nuh-uh.. I changed my mind." Literally.. Thought Dave to himself. "His name is Ereonberht now." 

"EREONBERHT!!!!!!!?????? What in the hell is an ereonberht!?" Mark sputtered, exasperated. 

"Ereonberht was a king." Of what exactly, Dave wasn't certain. That's all the baby book had said. 'Ereonberht-name of a king.' He'd quickly ascertained WHY the book was holding up the table. It was useless. 

"Okay.. Not Ereonberht. What about Pendragon.." Dave grinned. "What about Sherwin!?" 

Mark went pale and put the car in gear. "We are not naming him Sherwin. We went through this Elizabeth.. I'm not naming my son after your old boyfriends." 

Dave bit his lip. Hmmm.. Elizabeth and Mark duking it out over old boyfriends.. He wondered if there had been pudding and trampolines involved. Oh wait.. This involved MARK.. Dave quickly shook the thoughts from his head, shuddering slightly. 

"Elizabeth?! Are you okay? Are you cold?" Mark blasted the heat and wrapped the afghan around Elizabeth's shoulders. 

"Why did you have an afghan in the backseat?" Dave cocked a brow and wrapped the blanket around him. 

"I was just getting prepared for you coming home. I'm sorry I missed the birth of Andrew.. My aunt really was sick.. She really did need me.. I'm sorry Elizabeth." Mark pulled into the driveway and sighed pathetically. 

"Forget it Mark.. Weaver was there.. Coburn was there.. D-ave was there.. I would have liked you to be there," So I could punch you in the nose, for getting Elizabeth THIS pregnant, then buggering off to Cleveland, you four-eyed dork! Grumbled Dave in his head. "But since you weren't, I guess I'll have to settle for having you here now.." Dave replied, teeth clenched, slowly patting Mark's hand and smiling phonily. 

***** 

The clock radio beside the bed clicked on, signalling that if Dave actually had been be scheduled to work today, he had better hustle his cute ass out of bed. Elizabeth rolled over and touched something. With a smile, she pulled it in closer and gave it a kiss. "Mmm Mark.." 

The thing laugh and gave her a swat. "Dave! Wake up.. You're dreaming again. You really have a thing for Dr.Greene, don't you!?" 

Elizabeth sat up tired in bed. In Dave's bed, in Dave's bedroom, in Dave's apartment.. In.. Dave's body. She groaned loudly and rubbed her head. 

The song on the radio filled her ears and Elizabeth shuddered. 

"The telephone is ringing, disconnect the line/ The tension is building, but I'm alright/ The stars are colliding, so you might as well let me go/ The television is burning because I set it on fire/ The wheels, they keep turning, but I'm fine/ What about the questions we have locked up inside/ Somewhere, somehow we've been denied/ Hand in hand we walk behind/ Pretending, defending while our souls are tied/ It's only the third hour, my conscience subsides/ But something reminds me that you lied/ What about the consequences/ This can't be right..." 

She still shivered as Cindy wrapped the blanket around her and nuzzled her warm face into 'Dave's' shoulder. "Are you okay Dave?? Want me to make some coffee or something?" 

Coffee?? Cindy's Coffee?? The sheer horror of the idea startled Elizabeth out of her fog and she shook her head.She distinctly remembered about Cindy's 'coffee'. Dave had brought a thermos of it into work and sat in the lounge, eating it with a spoon. Generous guy that he was, he had offered some to everyone he had seen. 

"NO!" Elizabeth almost shouted, crawling out of bed in the buff and into the kitchen to make REAL coffee. 

Standing there with the coffee pot in one hand and the tin of coffee in the other, Elizabeth eyed the phone. Biting her lip, she yelled into the bedroom. 

"Cindy.. We're out of cream.. Could you run down to the store!?" Elizabeth said as she poured the Half and Half down the drain. 

"There was a whole carton in the fridge Dave-" Cindy retorted, pulling on a t-shirt as she walked into the kitchen in time to see Elizabeth plink a few drops into her coffee mug. 

"It's all gone, Cindy.. I don't know if you've been watering plants with it or what, but I want cream for my damn coffee." Elizabeth muttered with mock anger in her voice. 

Cindy rolled her eyes and grabbed her coat. "Yeah.. Whatever.. You bastard.." She said as she slammed the door and stomped off. 

Elizabeth sighed, walking to the bedroom and getting dressed into Dave's scrubs before picking up his cellphone off the kitchen table. 

*** 

The phone rang once.. Then twice, then stopped with a click as somebody picked up on the other line. "Elizabeth?" Her voice hissed quietly on the other end. "Damn.. Your freaky nut of a husband stuck his tongue down my throat and made me play GO FISH all night. I was ready to beat him to death with my bedpan. Where ARE you?" 

"I'm at your apartment.. On your phone. Where's Mark?" Replied Elizabeth, sitting down at the kitchen table suddenly wondering if Malucci had ever sat naked at this table and ate Count Chocula. She wondered if he made a habit of it. It was an inane thought, and one she smirked at. 

"Mark's gone to get eggs, milk and a pound of butter.. I 'accidently' dropped the whole lot down the garbage disposal. Where's Cindy?" Dave paced the room, 

"What?! All I did was pour a pint of cream down the sink. She's gone to the corner store. She threatened to make coffee." Muttered Elizabeth irritably. 

Dave laughed. "Oh poor you.. Your husband's been feeding me health crap. Porridge and orange juice. I want my sugary cereals and coffee.. I want a damn coffee, but he says it's 'not good for the baby.' He has me BREAST-FEEDING!!!!!!!!!!! I mean.. These things are cool and all.. But having a little sucker attached.. I'm not motherly. I'm not a WOMAN!!! Goddamnit Dr.Corday, you gotta get me back into my own bod-" 

Dave swivelled around to find Mark standing in the doorway, bags in hand and his jaw hitting the floor. "Hi.. Mark.. It's.. Dave on the phone.. He.. Phoned to see how we were doing.." 

Mark's eyes narrowed. "Hang up the phone now Malucci.. I don't want my wife to hear while I break every bone in your body." He replied with a deathly tone, cracking his knuckles. 

"MARK NO!!! DON'T!" Elizabeth yelled shrilly into the phone. "That's *MY* body you'll be beating into a pulp!!! Wait till he's in his own body again.. THEN you can beat the snot out of him.. I promise!" 

Dave nearly dropped the phone as Mark took a swing at him. "Whoa! HEY! Dr.Corday!!" 

He tossed Mark the phone as Coenualch Tescotickle Greene started to scream at the top of his lungs. Ducking and weaving, Dave escaped from the kitchen, leaving Mark dumbfounded and holding the phone. 

"Elizabeth?"   
  



	8. Labour Pains 8

labour8.html ********* 

Mark yelled into the phone and paced the room. "ELIZABETH! ANSWER ME!!! HOW IN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!?" 

There was no answer on the other end because Dave's cellphone had fallen to the floor. Elizabeth stood in shock, watching Cindy drag a young man into the apartment. 

"GOD! What happened!?" Elizabeth knelt beside the man and checked his pulse. Cindy cradled him in her arms. 

"It.. It's Danny.. I.. I found him like this outside the building.. Kurt and him had a fight again.. K-Kurt got out the gun.." Cindy whimpered, brushing the hair from Danny's closed eyes. 

Elizabeth cursed, ripping the shirt open and revealing a rather large gunshot wound to Danny's stomach.. "Jesus Christ.. Where is that bastard?? I'll kill him myself." 

Danny was a regular at County General. Broken ribs, arms, legs.. You name it.. Danny had it in a cast, over the past year that he'd been dating Kurt. It was general knowledge that Danny was gay.. Dave never had tried to hide the fact. But it was still a sore subject. 

Elizabeth's cursing was greeted by the soft metallic click as Kurt's shotgun was pointed at temple. "Your brother is a fucking loser.. You know what he did today?!" Kurt growled. 

Elizabeth shook her head and grabbed a fallen dishtowel, holding it against Danny's wound as Kurt held the gun to her head. "No.. I don't Kurt.. Why don't you tell us. Tell me why you had to shoot Danny." 

Kurt laughed. "Seriously? You're even more fucked up than your brother. He was leaving. He said he was leaving me. Said he was going come live with you. He said.. That you told him to move out.. He said that you called me a sick bastard and that he should get away from me. He said he wasn't going to take it anymore." There was distinct hurt in his voice as it trembled. How anyone could care for somebody so much. Somebody that they used as a shooting target and a punching bag, was beyond Elizabeth's comprehension. 

He pulled the gun off Elizabeth's temple and pointed at the back of Cindy's head. Kurt smirked, his high forehead and low sloping brow only reinforcing the man's sheer stupidity. One could wonder what Danny had ever saw in Kurt. He certainly wasn't handsome, or nice.. One could only hope that Kurt was the greatest lay in history because.. Otherwise, Kurt really didn't have anything going for him.   
"Now.. Dr.Dave.. Fix my boyfriend or your girlfriend's brains get blown all over your nice kitchen." 

*** 

Mark stared at the phone. Elizabeth.. In trouble.. Jesus Christ. Quickly he hung up the phone and dialled 9-1-1, and yelled for Dave. 

"Malucci.. Get my wife's ass down here.. NOW!!" 

"911?? Hi.. I.. I have an emergency.. Yeah.. Somebody's been shot.. The.. shooter's still.. Still there in the apartment. Yeah.. 67 Bridge St.. Apartment.. Uh.." 

Dave walked into the room, Tescotickle asleep on his shoulder. "Apartment 32B.. Wh-what's wrong???" 

*** 

"Certainly, Kurt.." Elizabeth replied through clenched teeth. "He needs medical attention.. Blood.. Paramedics.. I can't do anything for him here.." 

"FIX HIM!!!!!!!" Kurt's gun left Cindy's head for a split second, firing at the coffee pot and shattering it into pieces. His blonde, dirty, greasy hair fell in his dull, bug-like eyes and he blew it back with a puff from his chapped, bulbous lips. He looked like Kurt Cobain crossed with a stunned, blind sheep who'd been beaten severely with an ugly stick. Yes.. Elizabeth said to herself. Kurt was an ugly bastard. 

"I.. I can't.. I don't have the-" Elizabeth stammered. 

Kurt fired again at the package of coffee, causing it to explode, sending puffs of 'Columbian Fine Ground' into the air. "I don't care if you have the stuff.. Improvise.." 

** 

"What's wrong Mark." Dave said worriedly as Mark talked to the 911 operator. 

"I wish you wouldn't do that.." Mark muttered. 

"What?!" Dave stared at him confused. 

"Don't call me Mark.. You.. You're not her.." Mark replied, his voice shaking.. "She.. She's in your apartment with your brother and his crazy shit of a boyfriend." 

"What happened?" Dave's eyes widened and his skin turned a sickly shade of gray. 

"Kurt.. Shot your brother.. Now he wants you.. her.. to fix him.. I.. I'm pretty sure he had a gun.." Mark swallowed, pacing the floor. 

"Here.." Dave handed Mark, Tescotickle and walked from the room. "I'm going to fix this.. I'm going to kill the bastard myself." 

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't!! You're in my wife's body.. If.. If anything happened." Mark ran after him, the baby asleep in his arms. 

"If anything happens.. Nothing will. I'll be fine.. Elizabeth will be fine. Let me handle this.. It's family business.." Dave glared at Mark. "My brother needs me. I don't care if I'm stuck in the body of your wife, I'm going to my brother." 

"B-but-" Mark stammered 

"No buts.. Are you driving?" Dave tossed him the keys. 

"I.. I.. What about Tescotickle?" Mark looked at the baby asleep on his shoulder. 

"His name's Andrew, Dr.Greene.." Dave sighed walking to the garage. 

"Actually I sorta liked Aethelbeorht.. Beorhtie Greene.." Mark smiled slightly. 

"Yeah.. But do you want to wake up one morning with your balls surgically removed and transplanted on your forehead? Remember.. You ARE married to a surgeon." Dave returned Mark's nervous smile. 

"Right.. Andrew it is.." Mark chuckled nervously. "We can drop by County on the way, leave him there.. The nurses will take care of him.." 

Dave nodded, glancing at Elizabeth's tasteful small gold watch. "I.. I guess we have time-" If they're not all dead already.. Dave finished in his head. 

"They'll be fine, Dave.. Everything will be okay." Mark said with more confidence than he felt. 

"I.. I hope so, Dr.Greene.. What if-" Dave glanced out the window, watching the world pass him by as Mark drove like a bat out of hell. 

"Don't even finish that sentence, Malucci.. Don't even think it." Mark careened around the corner, his tassled loafer pressing the gas pedal to the floor.   



	9. Labour Pains 9

labour8.html

"H-hand me that paring knife Cindy.. D-do you have any clean dish towels around.. Yeah... That one in the drawer.. Hand it to me..   
Do you have a needle and thread?? Boil some water.. Put the needles in there.. Okay.." 

Elizabeth glared at Kurt, who sat on his haunches, the gun pointed lazily at the two women as the attempted to fix the mess he had   
made. "I.. I need a smaller knife.. A quarter inch blade.." She muttered, looking over at Kurt. "Do you have a jack knife?? A small   
blade.. I need a small blade." 

Disinterested, he tossed the pocket knife to Elizabeth who dipped it into the vinegar and hot water solution. "Okay.." As Elizabeth   
made a cut into the flesh, they heard a knock on the door. 

Kurt stood up sharply, ready to fire. Cindy grabbed his arm. "Don't.. Please Kurt.. Let Dave see who it is.. Then.. Then he can fix   
Danny.. Don't hurt anyone else.. Please.." Tears rolled down her cheeks, washing away the old ones and leaving fresh trails in their   
place. 

Kurt turned the gun back on Elizabeth. "Go.. Go get the door. Don't try anything stupid." 

Elizabeth slowly rose to her feet and walked out of the kitchen to the front door. There outside the peephole was Zadro and Doris.   
She breathed a slight sigh of relief. Who had called them? Mark? 

She unlocked the deadbolt and left the chain hanging. 

"Hey Dave.. We got a pretty frantic call saying there was a shooting.. Is everything alright in there?" Doris cocked an eyebrow and   
tried to peer in. 

"Is.. Is there police with you?? It's.. bad... in here.." Whispered Elizabeth, glancing back into the room. 

"Yeah.. They're downstairs.. I'll radio them up.." Doris nodded and within seconds, she heard the police creeping up the stairs.. 

"I.. I'll try to convince him to let you in.. I.. I don't know if I can do this alon-" Elizabeth felt the metal bite into her back and the hot   
wetness of Kurt's foul breath on her neck. 

"Who's there??!! What are you trying to pull Dave?" He poked the gun into 'Dave's' spine again and growled. 

"They're paramedics.. Somebody called them.. One of the neighbours.. Probably saw Cindy dragging Danny upstairs.. Please let them   
in Kurt.. If you want Danny alive.. They're his best chance.." 

Kurt eyed them suspiciously and waved Doris, Zadro and the one police officer dressed a paramedic into the room. They crept into   
the small apartment with the gurney, stopping beside Danny and slowly rolling him onto the backboard. 

"Okay.. Open the kit.. One unit of o-neg to start.. God Dave.. What did you use to cut the kid open? A jack knife?? Here.." Doris   
sighed as she watched Elizabeth pick through the bag of goodies, and stitched up the body enough to stop the bleeding. 

"Okay.. We gotta get him into a hospital.. I'll radio in-" Kurt put a hand on Zadro's walkie-talkie, stopping him. 

"No.. He stays here.. Fix him here." Kurt glared at the two medics, waving the gun. 

"We can't man.. If we leave him here he dies.. You got it? Then you won't be charged with attempted murder.. It'll be MURDER..   
He'll die.." Zadro slipped the o2 mask over Danny's unconscious face. 

"Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do!" Kurt roared, bringing up the gun to fire. He whipped around firing off a few   
shots, exploding the flower pot on the window sill, and hitting Elizabeth in the chest. She fell backward against the counter as she saw the cop draw his weapon. 

Two sharp reports from the undercover policeman's gun and Kurt lay dead on the floor. Blood trickled from his mouth and the group stood over him shuddering. Doris sat on her haunches and took his pulse. "He's dead.." 

"I'd hope so.. Those were perfect shots.." The cop smirked and poked the dead man with the toe of his shoe. "Bastard." 

"Okay.. Run downstairs.. Get the other backboard. We have to get these two out of here.. NOW!" Zadro yelled looking at the   
growing crimson puddle underneath Elizabeth. 

**   
"Who taught you to drive Dr.Greene? Your grandmother??" Dave cursed still staring at the blinking clock on the SUV's dashboard.   
As they pulled into the hospital they were interrupted by two ambulances. First Zadro jumped out of one and Doris jumped out of the other. 

Mark looked protectively back at his son asleep in his carseat. Carefully he pulled him from the seat and hurried inside the double   
doors passing off his newborn son to Chuny. "What's going on.. Who are on the rigs that just pulled in??" Mark said, his voice   
trembling. He already knew who was on those gurneys. 

"Dave Malucci and his brother.. Danny's boyfriend went a little nuts.. He was DOA at the scene. Dave has a chest wound and   
Danny's got a severe abdominal bleed. Dave managed to stop the bleeding before he was shot, but.." Chuny was cut off as the   
gurneys pulled into the hall. 

Dave looked at Mark with Elizabeth's harried expression and worried eyes. "Dammit, Dr.Greene.. Help me.." 

Weaver cocked a brow.. Did she just hear Mark's wife, Elizabeth Corday refer to her husband as 'Dr.Greene'?? Something fishy was   
going on. 

They pulled them into Trauma one and two respectively as the surgeons and doctors attacked the challenge before them. Benton gave a low whistle as he looked at the abdomen that Elizabeth had diligently stitched up while having a gun pointed at her. "Man.. Malucci did this?? It's surgical quality.. The half knots.. The slipstitch.. I know plastics tried to recruit him but DAMN! When he's got passion and drive behind his work.." He shook his head sadly and went to work extracting the bullet. 

*** 

"Sternal saw... Thorocotomy tray.. Come on.. We're a team here.. Let's get him breathing again. Come on Malucci... You can do this..   
Don't die on me.." Weaver cursed and slowly angled the scope, inserting the tube. "Okay.. It's in.. Bag him.."   
Haleh connected the bag and started breathing for the unconcious doctor. 

Luka winced, standing by as Weaver started up the sternal saw. It was a normal part of the trauma room, but to see it used on   
another colleague.. Only a year after Lucy.. After Lucy had died.. He shuddered, Malucci wouldn't die.. Malucci would be okay. 

The whine of the saw, the crunch of bone and flesh and the gasp of the other doctors in the room as Weaver cracked the chest. Carter looked up at his fellow colleagues and started internal compressions. Tears came to his eyes as he listened to the heart monitors blare.. Dave.. He couldn't be dead.. "INTERNAL PADDLES.. Charge to twenty.. CLEAR.." 

Mark sat in the doorway, tears rolling down his cheeks. Dave standing beside him, shaken as well, watching Benton with his hands   
deep inside his brother. 

"They'll be okay right? Mark?" Dave looked up from the tiled floor and watched Mark running into the Trauma room towards the   
bloodied, still body where Elizabeth still lay deep inside. 

Anguish overcame him as Carter charged the paddles again. "Charge to 50 CLE-" Stumbling into the room, Mark toppled towards   
the gurney. 

"Dr.Greene! No!!" Dave watched with horror as the grief stricken man lurched towards his wife. "Mark.. No." Dave ran, tripping   
over his feet, trying to get the man away from the doctors, away from the gurney, away from the defibrillator paddles. 

With a flying tackle, that his high school football coach would have been proud of, Dave leaped across the room and pushed Mark out of the way. 

As Carter looked up at the monitors looking for a rhythm and his eyes widened in shock at the head of surgery stumbling towards   
him, Dave fell on the gurney. 

The force of the shock sent Dave reeling backwards and onto the floor, against Mark. His head rolled to the side, and he lay limp as   
the doctors rushed to his aid. 

"Goddamnit! Page Chen and.. Page somebody.. We need help in here.. The bodies are piling up." Weaver looked frantically from   
trauma one to trauma two. 

"Dr.Weaver.. We got a rhythm!!" Carter yelped, pulling the paddles from Dave's chest.   



	10. Labour Pains 10

labour8.html   
"Okay.. Dr.Kovac.. Tilt the heart a little to the left.. Ah. Yeah.. Right there.. There's the bleeder.. Put your finger.. THERE. Don't   
move it." Carter whispered, his magnifying light poised on Dave's delicate ventricles. "Now if I just.." He methodically stitched up the hole and let his colleague slip the heart back into the chest.. "There.. I.. I think I got it.." 

Luka's eyes widened.. "What about the hole I have my finger on!?" 

Carter smiled tiredly, as Chuny wiped the sweat from his brow. "Oh yeah.. That hole.. Here.. Lemme see.." 

*** 

Kerry Weaver, turned away from the gurney and looked at the unconscious surgeon and doctor laying on the floor, drooling on   
themselves and she sighed heavily. 

"Get them a gurney.. Haleh.. Put them in exam one.. Watch them for me, till they come around." Weaver muttered, limping to the   
gurney. "Okay.. Good work Carter. He's stable. Take him upstairs." 

Carter and Weaver shed their gowns and gloves tiredly, looking back into the trauma one where a janitor was cleaning up. "Weaver?" 

"Huh? Yeah?" Kerry Weaver slumped into a chair beside the water cooler. 

"They'll both be okay right?" Carter looked back to the elevators where the doors had slipped shut, Dave Malucci's body encased in a moving steel box. "He has to be okay, Weaver.. Won't he??" 

Weaver ran a shaky hand through her sweaty hair and sighed. "I.. I don't know Carter.. I.. I guess so.. All we can do is hope.. It was  direct shots.. You saw the damage it did. But I saw the work you did. You're good Carter.. Just lets hope it was good enough to save him." Biting her lip, she rocked forward onto her feet and limped away leaving Carter with his thoughts. 

It was hours before Carter glanced up into exam one where Elizabeth was starting to stir. 

"Dr.Corday.. Are you okay??" He entered the room slowly looking at the adjacent beds where the husband and wife were out cold. Mark lay in the recovery position, his hand underneath his cheek and laying in a puddle of his drool. Carter snickered and looked back at Dr.Corday who's eyelids had started to flutter. 

"Dr.Corday??" He walked to the bed and took her slight wrist in his palm, checking her pulse. "Can you hear me Dr.Corday?" 

"Yes dammit.. I'm fine.." She snapped. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at the poor, tired resident. "Wait.. What did you call me?" 

"D-doctor.. C-corday.. That was some tackle.. The last time I saw something like that was Malucci last summer during the staff football game. You must have been taking notes." He stammered with a nervous smile. 

Slowly she looked down and gasped.. What in the hell?? Well.. She WAS in her own body again.. But.. What in the hell did Malucci have her wearing??? It looked like he had scrounged around in the boxes in the attic. A purple fake fur jacket with a pink tie-dyed t-shirt and orange and green striped skirt. Elizabeth shuddered, when she got her hands on him... 

"How is he??" Elizabeth said shakily, remembering the force of the bullet knocking her backwards. The burning, unbelievable pain in her chest as everything became foggy and time slowed to a crawl. As the blood ebbed out of her onto Dave's kitchen floor. 

"Well it looks like Danny's going to be okay, what Dave did in the apartment, stopping the bleeding. That's what saved his life.. As for Dave... I did all I could, let's hope that I gave enough for Romano to work with." 

"I'm sure it was John.. You're a good trauma doctor. They're both still upstairs in surgery?" Elizabeth pulled herself off the gurney   
and stood shakily on her feet. 

"Danny's in recovery.. Dave's still in surgery." 

Two Maluccis in danger because of her. Danny, she fixed.. but it was her fault that Dave was on the verge of death. She had to go   
upstairs and fix what she had done. 

"Dr.Corday.. You have to lie down.." 

"No.. I don't. I'm fine.. I'm okay. I'm going upstairs to assist on Dave.." Elizabeth muttered stubbornly. 

"Dr.Corday.." Carter called after her weakly as she left the exam room. 

Elizabeth leaned against a wall, catching her breath when somebody tapped her on the shoulder.  "Elizabeth.. Should you be out of bed?" 

She turned to see Kerry Weaver smiling concernedly. "You're going up to see Dave?? Perhaps you should sit.. Haleh or one of the   
girls would be happy to wheel you up. I have a feeling you've been through a lot lately." 

Elizabeth sighed as a nurse coaxed her backward into a wheelchair. "Okay.." She said resignedly as Wendy wheeled her to the   
elevators. 

"Elizabeth.." Kerry crutched after the chair, meeting the pair at the opening doors. 

She craned her neck around and looked at the ER chief. "Yes?" 

"That was some move in the ER, just like-" Kerry started kindly but Elizabeth cut her off. 

"Like Malucci in the football game last year.. I know.." She replied wearily as Wendy pushed the chair into the elevator and the doors slid shut. 

Weaver cocked a brow watching the numbers change, ticking up to the OR.. What on earth had Elizabeth been wearing? It looked   
like some sort of cruel April Fool's joke. 

** 

Danny awoke first, a tube down his throat, laying on his side as his wound drained. His fingers curled slightly into a fist as he awoke, the pulse-ox cable slipping off and sounding the alarm on the monitor. 

Startling awake, he glanced around with frightened terror, his eyes filling with tears. A recovery nurse jogged to his bedside, glancing quickly at the monitors and down at the cable which had fallen to the floor. Gillian smiled comfortingly, slipping it back onto his finger and straightening his blankets. "It's okay Mr.Malucci.. Everything is going to be okay now." She squeezed his hand reassuringly and turned away from the hospital bed. "I'm going to go get Dr.Saunders and Benton now.. They asked me to retrieve them when you awoke. 

** 

Dave lay in his bed, bruised, sore and unconscious, the ventilator fluttered like dying bird as it breathed for the doctor.  Elizabeth   
wheeled herself into the room, Andrew in her arms. "Dave.." She said, her voice hushed, strained with tears that had already fallen. 

Mark walked slowly behind her, guiding the chair with a shaking hand. His wife hugged his only son close as the alarms sounded.   
Filling the room with the horribly familiar noise of death. Elizabeth broke down into tears in Mark's arms, looking away as the ICU doctors and nurses rushed to his aid and started life saving measures.   
    
 ****

**Author's note: You can probably figure out what's going to happen.. But.. I know there are some out there who don't enjoy seeing the offing of a major character. (You skipped the two weeks of BSMH and AITF didn't you!) So I gave you a choice: 10A is the original angsty ending and 10b is the the happy ending for the rest of ya. Hope you enjoyed it.**   
****   



	11. Alternate ending: 1

labour10a.html   
***Ending 1*** 

The two doctors watched, emotionally and physically drained as the doctor before them, pronounced time of death. They'd seen it so many times before. Only a year before on another colleague.. But this.. This was invincible Dr.Dave. 

Elizabeth choked back a sob and the child in her arms started to wail. Confused and distraught, she stared at her son. "D.. Don't cry Andrew.. Please.. Dammit.. Stop crying.." 

*** 

Elizabeth crept into Danny's room quietly, he had been extubated around the same time that a nurse down the hall had been performing a death kit on his brother. She sniffled a bit and slipped his hand in hers. Now he was asleep and resting comfortably unaware of the fact that his brother died only a few hours ago. 

She stared off into space, tears in her eyes and a bittersweet smile on her face. Dave had been a pretty good kid. A real pain in the ass about ninety-five percent of the time. But a good kid. 

Danny coughed, frightening Elizabeth out of her deep thoughts. "Oh.. Danny.. Hi..." Elizabeth said hoarsely, looking away and wiping her tear-stained face, red and swollen from crying. 

"Do I know you?? You.. Look sorta familiar but.." Danny paused and then sighed heavily. "Everything's sorta muddled right now.. Cindy ran in here earlier crying her eyes out... My brother died.." 

Elizabeth gasped, a sharp intake of breath and her bottom lip trembled. He knew already. I don't have to tell him that I killed his brother. She breath out slowly and clenched her left hand into a fist, her nails drawing blood. "I'm sorry Danny.." 

"You knew him?" Danny said softly, staring at the shaken woman. God. What WAS she wearing?? It looked like something Dave would have picked out. 

"Yes.. He was a colleague of mine. I observed his operation. We did all we could but.. There was a blood clot.. It must have.." Elizabeth broke off unable to continue. This was her fault. 

Finally it all fell into place. Dave at the apartment, her clothes.. "It's not your fault you know.. Dave would have done the same thing. " Danny sighed with a sad smirk. Dave.. Pregnant.. In THOSE clothes.. He sighed again. 

"What?" 

"I came in to see my brother that night. He was sleeping.. Or so they said.. So I decided to go visit the bitch who nearly killed my brother. She was asleep with the baby in her arms.. But it wasn't her.. It was him.. I'd know that look in his eyes anywhere. Dave finally spilled the beans. He promised me not to tell anyone else.. He said he was having fun. So I shut my mouth. When what I should have done was track you down and beat you senseless, in my brother's body or not." Danny growled tearfully. 

"When I saw Dave stooping over me in his apartment... I knew it was you.. The way you moved.. You didn't move like Dave.. It was too fluid.. Feminine.. I guess I was the only one who noticed." 

Elizabeth shook her head. "No.. You weren't the only one.. Dave noticed.. When he had finally come to on my basement floor.. He started complaining, take his hand off his hip. Not to stand like that.. I.. I guess he was right." 

Danny looked up to see Mark with Andrew sleeping in his arms. "Hi Danny.." He said softly. 

Danny nodded to him, gesturing for him to enter. "Nice to see you Dr.G.. What's the baby's name??" 

"David Andrew Greene." Elizabeth smiled, cradling her son to her bosom, as Dave had done so many hours before, kissing the top of his downy head. 

Danny nodded smiling. "Yeah.. He looks like a Dave.." 

**THE END**


	12. Alternate ending: 2

labour10a.html *****Ending 2*****

Mark walked slowly behind her, guiding the chair with a shaking hand. His wife hugged his only son close as the alarms sounded. Filling the room with the horribly familiar noise of death. Elizabeth broke down into tears in Mark's arms, looking away as the ICU doctors and nurses rushed to his aid and started life saving measures. 

**** 

Elizabeth and Mark gasped with relief as the first tones of a heart rhythm beeped on the monitors. The head of the ICU trauma team smiled at the couple. "It's okay.. We have a steady rhythm now. His colour's back. I think it was a reaction to the anethesia.. We're putting him on another batch of antibiotics and meds.. It should help." 

Glancing back briefly, the nurses and doctors filed out, leaving Elizabeth and Mark with Dave's body, full of tubes and wires. The only thing making a sound in the room were the many machines he was hooked up to. Elizabeth stifled a sob. 

*** 

Dave winced opening an eye. What happened? The last he remembered was pushing that idiot Greene out of the way. Why did it hurt so much?? It was just a little shock. It wasn't like he'd undergone heart surgery... With a startled gasp he looked down at the line of blood seeping from the bandages on his chest. Oh God.. He was back.. But.. 

He lifted a heavy hand and stared at the IV line. God.. He was alive. Moving his hand back to the bed, Dave glanced to the left and saw Mark and.. Elizabeth!! 

"DR.CORDAY!" He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs, but the ventilator he was on prevented everything, but muffled sobs and scared snuffling. 

*** 

The baby in her arms squirmed and grunted, causing Elizabeth to scold him tiredly. "Andrew.. Shhh..." 

"Mwaaaah.." He fussed, squirming a little more until she awoke fully. 

"Andrew.. Mummy was trying to slee-" Her eyes widened and she saw Dave awake in bed. "My lord! Dave.." 

Elizabeth elbowed Mark hard in the ribs and he sat up straight. "I'm awake.. I'm awake.. Brilliant sermon, pastor.. One of the best I've heard. Jesus really is our savior.." He muttered sleepily. 

"Mark!!!!!!!" Elizabeth swatted him hard and he yelped, falling off his chair. 

"WHAT!?" Mark rubbed his bald head and glared at her. "I put money in the collection plate.. I earned my sleep." He muttered, yawning. 

"Mark! We're not in church! Dave's awake." She glared at him, "Now get up." 

"I liked it better when Dave was you.. He was nice." Mark whined, sitting back in his chair and earning another angry swat from Elizabeth. 

***A few weeks later*** 

Dave sat up in bed sipping a coke with Cindy on one side and Elizabeth on the other. "Flanked by ladies.. If only I wasn't in bed, I'd be in heaven." 

"Daaaave.. You're such a perv.." Cindy squealed. 

"And you love me for it don't you?" Dave pouted, sticking out his bottom lip. 

"Of course. We all do.." Elizabeth smiled, slipping her son into Dave's arms. The baby cooed happily and snuggled into Dave's chest. 

"Even little Dweezil.." Dave grinned, playing with the baby. 

"Dave.. If you call him Dweezil...." Elizabeth threatened, lightly. 

"If I call him Dweezil.. What?" Dave grinned, taunting her. 

"Then I'll have to tell Cindy about the other night.." An evil smirk played on Elizabeth's lips as Dave went pale. "You.. and her?" She nodded slowly as Cindy cocked her head. 

"I don't get it... What did you and I do Dr.Corday?? I never met you before Dave got shot..." Cindy bit her lip and nearly crossed her eyes trying to make sense of the situation. 

"Was it good??" Dave asked nervously. So he hadn't missed the 'surprise' that Cindy had planned. 

"Oh.. Dave.. Wouldn't YOU like to know.." Elizabeth laughed, truly happy for the first time in what seemed like days. "It's our little secret though.." She said looking back at Cindy who was muttering to herself and staring off into space. 

"I don't think Cindy will ever get it, and I know it would kill Mark.. Let's keep it between friends." 

"Okay, Liz.. It's our little secret.." Dave grinned. 

"Did you just call me Liz?!" Elizabeth squealed incredulously. 

"You called me a friend.. It seems not so long ago, you were telling Mark, he could kick my ass.." Dave laughed. 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "I said he could.. I never said he'd be able to.." 

"Truce?" He held out a free hand. 

She grinned and took his hand in hers. "Truce. No more body swaps.. Unless it's on special occasions and you want to put up with Mark's creepy Aunts and Uncles. I wouldn't have any objection to that." Elizabeth laughed. 

Dave stuck out his tongue. "Not on your life.. One body swap is enough thanks." 

"You can say that again." Sighed, Elizabeth tiredly. 

************the end**********   



End file.
